


Remember? Muke

by MukeClemmingsx



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-11 13:26:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2069946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MukeClemmingsx/pseuds/MukeClemmingsx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael transferred schools to get away from his old life. Does this new school change anything for him? Or is it just worse than what he use to experience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I can't

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I have this story on wattpad also, but I want to post it on here as well! My name on Wattpad is, MukeClemmingsbro bc Muke and stuff.

Michael was never considered the popular kid at his old school. It never bothered at him at first, until he came out as gay. The school didn't accept him being openly gay. Before he knew it, he was transferring schools.

Michael has tried to build an immunity to all the pain and suffering, but he can't bring himself to do so. He walked into his new school, dragging his vans across the floor looking at his feet not wanting to see the stares he was getting. He looked up for a split second only to meet blue eyes, he of course didn't know the boy's name. Michael gave a small smile and the taller blonde boy scoffed at him before pushing past him knocking him on the ground. He saw a hand reach in front of his face and he took it. The boy had blondish brown wavy hair and dimples.

"Hi, I'm Ashton" he smiled "Michael" I mumbled.

He sighed and looked at the scuffed up ground of the school.

"Don't mind him. That's Luke Hemmings, he thinks he's too good for most people so he resorts to being a twat." Ashton shrugged.

"I could tell" Even though Luke treated Michael like shit he was still amazed by how immensely attractive Michael was. What was going to happen to him won't be good, he needs to get this green haired boy out of his mind. There was only one way to do so.

 

Luke's p.o.v

 

I looked in the mirror as I stood in the boys washroom at school. I don't want to treat Michael bad... But if I don't I'll end up falling for him, but my over the top religious parents cannot find out that I'm gay. They think I'm straight and I need to keep it that way. Befriending Michael would make it all go down hill. I would get kicked out and beat for being a homosexual.... But I can't help but see how innocent and adorable Mike was, but at the same time he was hot as fuck. I was taken from my thoughts when he walked in, he was looking down not wanting to make eye contact.

"Get out, fag! I don't want you in the same room as me unless it's completely necessary" I shouted at him feeling the pain as I did so.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know I had to listen to Mr. I'm the fucking boss, when in reality if you haven't noticed you're just a homophobic twat." He spat and walked out smashing his elbow against mine.

I slumped down the wall, putting my face in my hands. I need to come out to my parents sooner or later.... I can't stand being this rude to such an amazing person. I know he has only been here a month, but somehow he became so popular amongst the girls and basically everyone else. His best friend is my friend Calum's "friend" when it's clear as fuck that they're so much more than that. I got up slowly grabbing my bag off of the ground. I plopped it down onto the counter and started to fix my hair so it didn't look like I had the worst sex hair ever. I sighed, looking in the mirror at my horrid reflection. "Why am I such a dick" I whisper to myself. I grabbed my bag from the counter and walked out of the bathroom and to my next class.

 

I looked up and saw no one other then Michael Clifford. Why.... Why did he have to be in the same class?

"Um, excuse me, Clifford. This isn't a dog park. I'd advise you to leave and go be with your kind." I smirked taking my seat.

"Sorry, man. I don't take advice from self-centered pricks. Thanks for the horrible advice though." He nodded smiling.

What the fuck is this kid's problem.... No one ever talked back to me until this morning.. I grumble and took out my work and began writing down the notes Mr. Ansell was giving us.

 

Michaels p.o.v

 

This fucking kid Luke Hemmings is the worst person you'd meet. I find it funny that he thinks he can hurt me with his derogatory remarks. I will admit he's cute and all, but I don't go for stuck up assholes like himself. Mr. Ansell started writing notes on the board, so I took out a piece of paper and started quickly jotting them down, just so I could be done and not worry about it.

"Now we are going to have a project and you guys are going to work in partners of two. I already chose your partners so don't get all excited." He smiled and started calling out names.

"Michael Clifford you'll be working with Luke Hemmings" my whole body froze as those words came out of his mouth. "There's no fucking way I'm partnering with this consuming low life fuck." I snapped and looked at Luke who looked as if he was hurt.

I shrugged it off and stormed out of the classroom while the teacher yelled my name. He was not making me work with that snotty kid.

"M-Michael"

 

Luke's p.o.v

 

"M-Michael" I whispered, hoping he would turn around, but he didn't he froze then kept on walking. Adding "I'm flying to the UK tomorrow for a week. Don't miss me too much, prick." He spat.

I could feel the tears in my eyes, I ran for the bathroom before they fell. I'm never going to be friends with Michael, I had to be a dick to him on his first day, only because I didn't want to fall for him, and look here I am falling for a boy who hates me. Fuck, I'd hate me, too, if I were anyone else. I normally never treat people like this... Never. I don't know how Michael made that any different at all he just did. My thoughts got cut short by the bell signalling we could go home now, I sighed and slowly got up from the cold, dirty floor and headed to my locker. I threw all my stuff in there and grabbed my bag, and locked my locker.

 

"Hey, Luke!" Calum said cheerily. "Hi, " I said simply and walked off.

I really wasn't in the mood for Calum right now, don't get me wrong, I love him, but I just can't deal with anyone right now. He didn't come after me which I was happy about. I walked home alone, looking around the empty streets, listening to the strong winds that blew and watched the soft rain that fell from the sky. I reached my house and walked in dumping my bag by the door and walked upstairs into my room grabbing my guitar. I started plucking at the strings and came up with a song at the top of my head. Well, kind of. Getting off my bed quickly and rushing over to my dresser I grabbed my notebook and a pen scribbling down lyrics and guitar notes. After about an hour of getting mad and scrunching the paper up and throwing the paper into the garbage I finally wrote the song, and the notes for it on guitar. I started strumming the notes and singing to see if it sounded good.

 

"For a while we pretended

That we never had to end it

But we knew we'd have to say goodbye

You were crying at the airport

When they finally closed the plane door

I could barely hold it all inside

Torn in two

And I know I shouldn't tell you

But I just can't stop thinking of you

Wherever you are You Wherever you are

Every night I almost call you

Just to say it always will be you

Wherever You are I could fly a thousand oceans

But there's nothing that compares to

What we had and so I walk alone

I wish I didn't have to be gone

Maybe you've already moved on

But the truth is I don't want to know

Torn in two And I know I shouldn't tell you

But I just can't stop thinking of you

Wherever you are You Wherever you are

Every night I almost call you Just to say it always will be you

Wherever you are You can say we'll be together

Someday Nothing lasts forever Nothing stays the same

So why can't I stop feeling this way

Torn in two And I know I shouldn't tell you

But I just can't stop thinking of you

Wherever you are You Wherever you are

Every night I almost call you Just to say it always will be you

Wherever you are."

 

I strummed the last chord, and slightly smiled. It thankfully did sound good. I sighed and walked to the window looking out at the miserable weather of Sydney. I can never get Michael off my mind, it's too hard. I screwed everything up because I thought I should be a prick to the new kid. But instead, I end up falling in love with him. I don't think this will ever change for me, he hates my guts, and I'm here secretly in love with him. I could go to the airport tomorrow and sing him that song, but he would think I'm a creep. But it's the only way I can win him over.. I shook my head walking over to my bed, pulling off my pants and T-shirt jumping into bed.

 

"Well, tomorrow is going to be interesting".

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up to the sound of my alarm, I jumped and remembered why I set it for so early. I hopped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, throwing off my boxers and hopping into the shower. I turned the knobs until the water was perfect. I quickly washed my hair and body and got out wrapping a towel around my waist and walked into my bedroom, the cold air hitting my wet body. I looked through my closet and picked out a Misfits tank top and black skinnies with some black converse. I made my way back to my bathroom and did my hair, it took me a while to make it look pretty perfect but it's all good now. I smiled in the mirror and ran out, grabbing my guitar and car keys leaving in a rush. I turned on my car and Nirvana was playing. It was about a ten minute drive to the airport, but I tried to get there faster to catch Michael.

I arrived at the Airport around 7:24 am and began running around looking for Michael. After 20 minutes I saw Brown and blond hair in the waiting area to catch your flight.

"MICHAEL" I yelled through the airport, and of course getting strange looks. He looked at me and his face turned into a scowl. "What the fuck do you want, Hemmings?" He yelled.

"Michael, please... I never meant to treat you like I did on your first day. I don't know what came over me at all. I really do regret ever treating you like that. When I first saw you I did want to be your friend, but instead I was a big fucking dick. And I understand if you still hate me after this but, I wrote you something... Will you please just listen to it?" He sighed and looked at me

"Fine, but make it quick" He stated in a harsh tone. I finished up the song I wrote for him and his face softened a bit and he was looking at me in the eyes.

" I know it's not much, but it's a-"

"Flight 226 is now boarding. Flight 226 is now boarding" The woman said over the intercom.

"Goodbye, Luke." He gave me a small smile and grabbed my hand and put a piece of paper in my hand. I opened up the little sticky note and read it.

"Text me..." And it had his number below it. Maybe he won't hate me after all.


	2. I Can't Forgive You.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having really bad Muke feels right now.

Michael's p.o.v

I can't forgive Luke, not yet. I need to keep up this facade of hating him. Even when I secretly love the blonde haired boy. Everything about him makes me so weak, his perfect blonde hair put up in a quiff, but still slightly messy, his loving blue eyes that anyone could easily get lost in, his lip ring that made me lose all control inside my mind, his body, his face, just everything. But, he hates me, I hate him, how could the two of us ever be friends? He hated me since day one, before ever even talking to me, ever since then he has treated me with complete disrespect, how can I so easily forgive him for that? I can't and I won't, not yet, not any time soon. If he continues to be a prick, then at that moment I know he cannot be forgiven.

I sighed and sat down in my designated seat for the plane ride to Brighton, UK. I stared out the window as the plane slowly took off the wheels lifting off of the payment of the airport and flying high in the air. I wonder what it would be like to finally be free, to be up here in the sky, no longer have any worries. I wouldn't have to handle the bullying anymore, or loving Luke, getting hate back from him, pure hatred. I've never had these thoughts before, but they're starting to take a toll on me. I know I promised myself I wouldn't... I do, and I'm going to keep that promise... I hope, that's what it's going to be now "I hope I won't hurt myself". I shook the thoughts from my head and proceeded to look out the windows at the beautiful sunset, the amazing colours that blended into each other, the sun slowly setting behind the clouds and the moon rising. It was a gorgeous sight really. The blue sky reminded me of Luke's eyes, only a bit dimmer than his, and the sky faded darker and darker ask the time got later and later, sleep took over my body and I sat there in an awkward position as the plane steadily flew through the sky towards the UK.

I woke up to someone on the intercom announcing that we will be landing in 20 minutes. I checked my phone to see the time 11:34am. I also got a massive amount of texts from an unknown number. I unlocked my phone and checked if they gave me their name in the first text, and indeed they did, it was Luke. The one boy I am trying to avoid, why did I ever give him my number. I read the texts on by one.

"Hey, Michael, it's Luke."

"Michael, I know you're mad. But please reply to me"

"I don't know how to get you to forgive me"

"Mikey please...."

"I'm not going to leave you alone until you answer me.."

"Okay, well, I guess you really don't want to talk at all."

"Goodbye, Michael."

I felt tears starting to stream down my face, maybe he really did care.. I sat there crying my eyes out waiting for this stupid plane to land. When it finally did, I ran out the doors and straight to the bathroom not caring if anyone was looking at me. Why am I such a fuck up?

 

Lukes p.o.v

I sat in my car, driving home. I guess Michael might not be mad after all. I turned on the radio and Troye's new song Happy Little Pill was playing. I sang along to the song, it's such an amazing song.

"Nothing but time to kill, sipping life from bottles

Tight skin, bodyguards, Gucci down the boulevard,

Cocaine, dollar bills and

 

My happy little pill

Take me away

Dry my eyes

Bring colour to my skies

My sweet little pill

Take my hunger

Light within

Numb my skin

 

Like a rock, I float

Sweat and conversations, seep into my bones

Four walls are not enough, I'll take a dip into the

Unknown, unknown 

 

Oh glazed eyes, empty hearts

Buying happy from shopping carts

Nothing but time to kill, sipping life from bottles

Tight skin, bodyguards, Gucci down the boulevard,

Cocaine, dollar bills and

 

My happy little pill

Take me away

Dry my eyes

Bring colour to my skies

My sweet little pill

Take my hunger

Light within

Numb my skin 

 

Glazed eyes, empty hearts

Buying happy from shopping carts

Nothing but time to kill, sipping life from bottles

Tight skin, bodyguards, Gucci down the boulevard,

Cocaine, dollar bills and

 

My happy little pill

Take me away

Dry my eyes

Bring colour to my skies

My sweet little pill

Take my hunger

Light within

Numb my skin"

Right as it finished I got home, I shut off my car and walked inside, plopping myself on the couch turning on the TV to some random show. I grabbed my phone and texted Michael. Two hours later he still hasn't replied, I kept texting him random things and still no reply. I guess he still hates me, I wouldn't blame him at all. What isn't there to hate about myself, I get up and head to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I'm so disgusting for how I treat people who just simply want to love me. I treated Michael like a he was nothing, just to save myself from my religious parents finding out, yeah I'm sure my mom won't care... But it's my dad who I don't want to find out. Just because of him, I ruined everything that could've been between Michael and me. I can't handle that, I can't.

I leaned my back against the bathroom wall and slid down it and started crying hysterically. Why am I such an asshole to Michael? He was such a sweet innocent boy when he just accidentally bumped into me at school one day and I lashed out on the poor boy. I sat there for about 3 hours crying over the green eyed boy. I slowly raised myself up off the ground and wiped my eyes clean of tears and saw my eyes were bloodshot, and my cheeks stained with tears. I suppose, I have to keep up the act of hating him? Or do I show him how much I actually care for him. I don't fucking know. Calum will know.

10 minutes later I was cleaned up and heading over to Calums to ask him. I got up to his door and knocked. The door opened, revealing a happy looking Calum.

"Hey Luke!" He smiled.

"Hey. Uh, can I talk to you about something?" I sighed looking at the ground.

"Of course, come in and I'll just get some Pepsi and we can talk." He said with a soft smile closing the door behind me.

"Thanks." I mumbled and headed towards the couch sitting on it. Calum came back 5 minutes later handing me a soda and sat beside me.

"So what is it you would like to talk about?" He asked, taking a drink of his soda.

"Well, uh, you know Michael Clifford right?" I asked looking at him. He looked at me confused and then it was gone.

"Yes! Now I do" He smiled looking at me.

"Anyway, I regret ever being a dick to him, but he's ignoring my texts after he gave me his number. He flew out to the UK today and I went to the airport to apologize to him, he seemed like he forgave me, but, hours later he started to ignore me and never answered my texts...." I paused for a minute trying to hold back some tears, Calum looks at me with the most worried expression on his face.

"And, I don't know whether to keep acting like I hate him or if I should show him how much I really do care for him. But I should mention, over the time I have fallen in love with Michael" I sighed as I finished explaining it all to Calum. He nodded and put his drink down on the table.

"Well, honestly Luke, If you really do love Michael and he isn't replying to your texts, I would still say t-" He got cut off by a knock on the door. He looked at me completely confused.

"Who's at the door?" He asked.

"How would I know, it's your house." I told him. He shrugged and got up and answered the door.

"Luke. Run."


	3. Chapter 3

Luke's p.o.v

 

"Luke. Run." Calum said sternly slamming the door on the person. Luke sits there unable to move, the confusion and fright taking over his body. He hears loud banging coming from the door, then it fly's open in an instant. "LUKE YOU BETTER GET YOUR FUCKING ASS UP YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT" I snapped out of the daze and shot up running for the back door before getting pulled back by my uncle.

"Where do you think you're going you fucking little shit?" He snarled. I shrugged as I saw Calum come up behind him with a... Cane? What the fuck, Calum? He started to beat my uncle with it in hopes it would hurt him. They both stand there, blank expressions on their faces. My uncle grabs the cane and throw's it away from Calum. Calum went wide eyed and grabbed a chair lifting it up. He looked at it and smiled "Wow, I am so cool." He said just above a whisper, I shook my head at him. In a time like this he would act like this for no reason. He whacked my uncle in the face with it and he fell over, smashing the side of his face on the counter. I chuckled at it and looked back at Calum who was staring down at my uncle smiling.

"Admit it, I'm the coolest person ever for doing that... And oh by the way grab this chair because what I am going to tell you is going to make you want to hit me with that same exact chair..." He said averting his gaze from mine. I looked at the side of his face, I was confused beyond belief.

"Um.. I sort of called.. uh, hah... I kind of called, not much of a call, err... But, uh... Yeah... So like, I called Uh, no one that really matters right? So, uh, yeah, I touched a number one by one, you know as you do an uh... It rang an-" I cut him off "WHO THE HELL DID YOU CALL?"

"Michael...." He said in a low voice.

"CALUM WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE FUCK DID HE SAY?" I yelled at him, my voice lacing with anger.

"Uh.. That he was on his way back... And not to tell you something, so that something I can't say because he told me I can't say that something so that something will not be stated, because he said not to tell you that something therefore I cannot tell you that something that he told me not to you, because that something is a Sec-"

"CALUM SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I HIT YOU WITH THIS CHAIR NEXT!" I yelled at him annoyed. God dammit Calum, out of all people he had to call Michael? Who is in the fucking UK and is flying back because the dip ship I call my best friend called him on the phone and explained to him what happen, even though I am perfectly fine. But Calum sure won't be once Michael finds out nothing actually happened. I sighed, looking at my arm where my uncle's hand once was. Lifting the sleeve of my shirt it slowly revealed a bruise in the shape of his hand, I poked at it seeing if it hurts, and telling from the wince I just did, it hurts. A surge of pain washed through me as I try to put my sleeve to my flannel back down over my arm. When I get to my forearm I look up at Calum and see that he is back in the living room watching TV as if nothing ever happened. I looked back down at my arm and feathered my finger over my scars. The memories came flooding back.

The beatings.

The name calling.

The fighting.

The screaming.

The nightmares.

The attacks.

The bullying.

The crying in the bathroom and cutting all night.

The suicide attempts.

The rape.

Everything. It all came back to me, the urges came back, the tears came back. And before I knew it, I find myself slouching down on the ground crying, crying about it all, just hoping I can forget about it all, that all these memories could just leave my mind. I can't enjoy life knowing how worthless I am, how pathetic, ugly, horrible, rude, ignorant, stupid, idiotic, I really am. I get told by 3 people that I'm none of those, but they have never been in my mind, they don't know what goes through it. I hate everything about myself. I got a lip piercing in hopes that I might find myself a bit more attractive, I was wrong, oh I was so wrong. I still find myself to be such a hideous human being, I know how wrong it is to think these things about myself, especially after what I put Michael through, I put him through what people put me through. I'm just being a hypocrite. I need help. I need so much help.

I get up and run into my room and play a song I wrote a while ago. Maybe, just maybe this will help. ( I know Luke didn't write this song, but pretend he did.)

Six weeks since I've been away

Now you're saying everything has changed

And I'm afraid that I might be losing you

 

And every night that we spent alone

Could be thinking of you on your own

And I wish I was back home next to you

 

Oh, every day you feel a little bit further away

And I don't know what to say

 

Are we wasting time, talking on a broken line

Telling you I, haven't seen your face in ages

I feel like we're as close as strangers

Won't give up, even though it hurts so much

Every night I'm, losing you in a thousand faces

Now it feels like we're as close as strangers

 

Late night calls and another text

Is this as good as it gets

Another Timezone taking me away from you

 

Living dreams and fluorescent lights

While you and I run out of time

But you know I'll always wait for you

 

Oh, every day you feel a little bit further away

And I don't know what to say

 

Are we wasting time, talking on a broken line

Telling you I, haven't seen your face in ages

I feel like we're as close as strangers

Won't give up, even though it hurts so much

Every night I'm, losing you in a thousand faces

Now it feels like we're as close as strangers

 

On the phone I can tell that you want to move on

Through the tears I can hear that I shouldn't have gone

Every day it gets harder to stay away from you

So tell me are we

 

Wasting time talking on a broken line

Telling you I, haven't seen your face in ages

I feel like we're as close as strangers

 

Wasting time talking on a broken line

Telling you I, haven't seen your face in ages

I feel like we're as close as strangers

Won't give up, even though it hurts so much

Every night I'm, losing you in a thousand faces

Now it feels like we're as close as strangers

Six months since I went I went away

And to know everything has changed

But tomorrow I'll be coming back to you"

I finished and I look down to see my jeans and guitar wet from tears, I guess I was wrong, this won't make me happy. The only thing, the only person who can is Michael, and he's on a plane on his way here. I need to do everything I can in the short amount of time to make him believe I do care for him, that I don't hate him at all, I love him more than I hate him. Even though I don't hate him, not an ounce of me hates him.

I run down the stairs, tripping over the second last stair and falling flat on my face. Calum got up and came over to me grabbing my arm where the bruise is. I gasp in pain and he quickly removes his hand, sending me an apologetic smile, I smile back at him and nod him a thanks before grabbing my keys and leaving to go grab a flower's for Michael and some pizza.

I slipped on my worn out vans ad trudged through my front door and headed to my car. I unlocked the doors and hopped in turning it on and hearing the engine roar. I closed my door and drove off to some flower shop down the road.

I shut off my car and got out walking up to the building "Flowers and Flour" Wow, so funny. I thought to myself, walking through the glass door and heard a bell ring. Probably so the workers know someone has entered. I smiled when I saw the girl.

"Do you need help with anything, sir?" She asked politely and smiled at me. She had brown long hair that was put to one side with purple tips. It reminded me of Michael because he dies, his hair. I sigh and shake my head and walk off.

"Who are you buying flowers for?" she asked, walking up beside me still smiling.

"Someone I fucked up with" I answered casually.

"What's her name?" She is getting really annoying, actually.

"His name is Michael, why does it even matter?" I sigh, holding the bridge of my nose and grab a colourful bunch of flowers that I thought would fit for Michael perfectly.

"I've been through it before, I just want to say tell him how you actually feel, I can tell just by how your face lit up when you said his name that you love him more than a friend. And getting him flowers will be a perfect start" She said smiling. I smiled back and thanked her after paying and walking back out the door.

After getting the flowers which took about 30 minutes due to the girls questions, I think her name was Diana? (I Totally did use @DIANASINCE2013 to become Luke's close friend that is a girl in this.) I don't really know, I'll go back another time. I drove off to the pizza place and ordered a Hawaiian pizza, because that's what Calum said to get? I don't really know if that is a correct fact, but if it is good on him. 15 minutes later the pizza was ready and I was on my way home.

I arrived at home 20 minutes later and I grabbed the pizza and flowers from the back of my car and headed into the house. Calum was still there, sitting on the couch. He looked over at me when I closed the door. I took off my shoes and started walking over to the kitchen grabbing two candles on my way before Calum stopped me.

"Michael will be here in an hour. Also, those are for him, aren't they?" He said, nudging me in the side. I nodded and went into the kitchen. I opened the pizza and set it in the middle of the table, placing it on a platter and putting the two candles on each side of it and putting the flowers on the counter. I noticed my uncle was no longer there, I shrugged and got a piece of paper and wrote Michael a note to go with the flowers.

"Michael, I'm so sorry for what I put you through. I can't begin to say how sorry I am, but I want you to know, I did it because I love you. I really do. I know it's been such a short amount of time, but, I can't help it. It's just you're beyond amazing, you're so lovely to everyone and there's no part of me who hates you. I hate myself for coming off like I did. One day, maybe soon. That day could be today, I'll tell you the reason why and I hope you understand. I'll tear myself apart if I lose you because of what the past holds. I just want it to be about what the future might have for us. I hope it has something amazing for us. Together. -Luke♥" I read it over and rubbed my face, placing the note in the flowers.

"Calum how much longer until Michael is here?" I shout at him.

"20 minutes!" He yelled back.

I have enough time to change and do my hair. I get up off the seat I am on and head to the bathroom down the hall, I closed the door and looked at myself in the mirror. I sighed when I saw myself, ignoring my thoughts I grabbed a lip ring from a drawer and put it in. I searched for some hair gel to put my hair up in it's quip that it's always in. Once I find it, I spend about 10 minutes, making it look perfect. Sighing again, I walk out and go up to my room and change into my "You complete me" Tank top and some black skinny's.

There was a knock on the door and I ran down the stairs and opened the door and saw Michael.

"L-Luke... Your arm" He said tears forming in his eyes. I cover the bruise and smile at Michael.

"Michael, it's fine that's all that happened to me. I promise." I told him and hugged him tightly. I soon felt his arms wrap around me in a tight embrace.

"Thank you, Mikey. Thank you for coming here, thank you for caring. Thank you so much" I mumbled into his neck and he hummed a 'hmm' in exchange.

"I have something to show you." I said, smiling leading him to the kitchen.

"YOU'RE GONNA GET SOME LUCAS." Calum yelled before leaving my house.

"Fucking asshole." I said, blushing.

Michael on the other stood there, mouth gaped open. "Luke.... You did this... For me...?"

"Yeah. I thought, I should. You deserve it, Mikey" I smiled and looked at him.

"I don't know what to say, thank you so much, Luke. Seriously, this is amazing." He said and hugged me tighter than before. I nodded and hugged him back. I like his embrace, but it all ended too quickly.

"Those are your flowers too, I also wrote something for you" I started blushing furiously at what he was about to read.

Michael walked over to the flowers and took out the note, he started reading and had the biggest smile on his face and tears streaming down his face.

"Luke... This is so beautiful, you're so beautiful. Thank you. Come here" He smiled.

I walked over to him and he grabbed my hand and pulled me into his chest. I looked at him and he slowly leaned in and his lips were on mine, his hand were now cupping my face and I instantly kissed him back smiling into the kiss. "I love you, too, Luke." He said against our lips kissing me again. This moment was perfect, everything about this moment was absolutely perfect. Michael is perfect and I never want to see him hurt, soon I hope to call this boy my boyfriend.


	4. Confessions and Parties

Michael's p.o.v

 

Later that morning I woke up with Luke beside me, this isn't suppose to happen, not yet. I can't fall for the man who has put me through quite a bit of pain these past few months. He did do something beyond amazing last night, and I can't thank him enough for that, that's just the start of me forgiving him.

 

I felt Luke stirring beside me, him rubbing at his eyes, and slowly opens them. He looked at me smiling widely, burying his face into my neck.

 

"Michael, I really am sorry and I do actually love you. I understand if you don't fully forgive me yet, and I will do everything in my power to get you forgive me of what I did." He sighed into my neck.

 

"Luke, you're right; I don't fully forgive you, not yet. But I will, yes, it will take some time. But I do know I love you, and I do want this to work between us. You're amazing when you aren't hurting anyone, not that you always do. But- you know what I mean. I just.... I love you, Luke." I explained, kissing the top of his head.

 

I felt him smile and I got up heading to the bathroom. I looked in the room and saw myself, feeling disgusted about myself. I rubbed at my face and kept staring at myself. All these thoughts ran through my head. 

 

Kill yourself, you're worthless.

"I promised myself I wouldn't"

 

No one will care anyway, so don't make a promise you know you won't keep, you ugly whore.

"I-I can't"

 

Go cut more, you don't deserve happiness.

I don't... I really don't deserve to be happy.

 

 

I slammed the door shut, and me being the idiot I am, forgot to lock it. I quickly rummaged through a drawer looking for the sharp tool. 5 minutes later I found it, and picked it up, staring at it. "Do I really want to do this?" I thought. Of course I do.

 

I slid down the wall, smashing the razor on the ground, grabbing one of the blades. 

 

"I fucking hate myself" I said quickly sliding the sharp blade across my skin. 

 

"I'm ugly, no one cares if I die" Another slice going a bit deeper, I did that over and over until I had 20 beautiful cuts on each arm. I stood up and looked but in the mirror, blood shot eye's, tear stained cheeks, and a hideous looking face. 

 

"Why am I such a fuck up?!" I scream and fell onto the floor, a crying mess. I heard the door open and new damn well that they already saw the cuts scattered all over my wrist. But I don't care, there's nothing to care about. There has never been anything to care about is there? Life is just something pointless that we all live, we all live a life that we wish we control everything that happens. We paint pictures of what we want, but it never succeeds. Nothing ever does, we are just here to weep in pain. What more is there to life? We stand, in the midst of this fog. We look for the love we desire where we cannot see. That's simply how we are, we seek love where it cannot be seen. The trampling noises of feet, indicating all the people desperate to be loved. But what they don't notice is they're looking for love in a dark field of fog and grass. We come here to mope, not find love of another. Our silhouettes can be seen by many, our tear stained faces can't. Our brokenness can't be seen by the mere presence of another. So as we stand here, wondering why we can't be loved in the shadow of the night, as the sun creeps upon us, we notice that we can't be loved by night. Only the day where we can search in light. 

 

"M-Michael... Talk to me please.." The voice I recognize as Luke said, in a sad tone. 

 

"Luke.. I didn't want you to find out about this! I didn't want anyone to. I know I deserve to die, every day I go through this pain. The thought of suicide crosses my mind more than you could ever imagine. I get told on a daily basis how fat I am, that I'm unwanted. I came to believe that I'm not a person who should be living life on this planet. This world is cruel, we can't be happy with our unique selves, simply because there will always be someone to bring you down, just because they want to feel better about themselves and possibly cause another human to die because of their words. Words may be hard, but when they come to be words of assault, they seem easier than anything before." I shook my head and slowly got up wincing at the pain in my arms, and walked out the door.

 

"Goodbye, Luke. Maybe, one day we could be something amazing. But I'm too much of a wreck for you to handle." I looked at him once more, and left. Before I could make it to the door, I felt a hand grab mine and pull me into them.

 

"No Michael, understand this please. I love you. No, I don't just love you; I love everything about you, I love your smile, your eyes, your nose, your different coloured hair, personality, everything. You're so amazing and I want you to realize that, I'll do anything to make you believe that you're beautiful, amazing, adorable, cute, hot, perfect, and hopefully mine. I want you to be mine, so badly, Mikey, you're everything I have ever wanted, waking up to you beside me this morning made my whole year, it made me smile, my heart was beating so fast and loud, and that's only because I woke up with the most handsome guy beside me. When you kissed me the other day, my feelings were absolutely unexplainable. Thank you for everything last night, thank you for coming. You don't deserve this pain, I don't know how to make you stop, but that won't stop me from helping you. I promise I will be here through it all. Okay?" He finished looking me in the eyes, nothing but sincerity in them. Before I knew it, I was grabbing his neck, pulling his head down and kissed him softly, smiling into the kiss. 

 

Things started to get heated fast, Luke was leading me to the couch and pushing me into it carefully. He broke the kiss to carefully take off my shirt, his lips trailing down my neck, he started sucking on a certain spot finding out that it's my sweet spot.

 

I gasped, and lightly pulled at his hair. I felt the vibration of him laughing on my neck making me groan. I let my hands trail down to the hem of his shirt and lifting it up over his head. I flipped us over, and started to kiss down Luke's chest, I softly bit at his collarbone, and heard him moan above me. I smiled and blew on the soon to be hickey. I roamed down his torso and stopped at the hem of his skinny jeans. I palmed his hard-on and smirked at him.

 

"Mi-Michael, not n-now. M-my parents are g-gonna be home s-soon. He started out in pleasure and sadness. 

 

"Awwh, but we were having fun." I said, pouting sitting on his stomach. He leaned up, cupping my face and kissed my lips softly.

 

"I know, Mikey, I'm sorry." He frowned at me stroking my cheek.

 

"But I do have a question for you, if that's alright?" He asked, face gone serious.

 

"Shoot" 

 

"Michael Clifford, will you do the honors of being mine, Luke Hemming's boyfriend?" I froze, unable to talk.

 

"L-Luke" I stuttred without notice.

"Of course I will!" I said and tackled him down hearing him sigh in relief.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luke's P.o.v

Michael and I sat their at my little sisters birthday party, cone party hats made for kids sat atop of our heads. Both Michael I put ours over our mouths. My sister started opening gifts so I went onto my phone to get a video, Michael leaned over to me and made awkward noise, I tried to ignore him but could help but laugh at how strange he was. 

I chose to wear a red, black, and grey plaid flannel with black skinnys. While Michael chose to look hot as fuck with a Metallica tank top and ripped black skinny's. He makes me sexually frustrated. 

Michael leaned over, I felt his hot breath on my ear. He gently bit it making me let out a quiet groan as he slowly trailed soft bites down my neck and started biting my neck, and sucking on it leaving a mark, I let out a loud moan and everyone looked at me and Michael. Michael being the asshole he is just shrugged.

"He's strange isn't he?" He said smiling. Everyone laughed an nodded. I sent him a glare and he smirking winking at me before getting up and walking into the house shaking his butt.

The things he does to me, and the things I will be doing to him tonight.


	5. Dates and stuff

Luke's p.o.v 

Later that day, everyone left and it was just me and Michael left. He was in the bathroom and I sat on the couch waiting to get pay back for what he did to me earlier today. 

I heard the bathroom door open, and I got up and walked half way up the stairs. I stood there for a bit and waited until I knew he was sitting on the couch. I walked up to him wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing his neck softly, laughing when I hear him let out a quite moan. 

"Michael, baby. It's fine, I can see the problem you have right now." I purred into his ear, hearing him groan. 

"L-Luke. S-stop." He begged. I chuckled, the vibration of it on his neck. I felt him stiffen underneath me. Smiling I let go of his neck, walking around the couch sitting on his lap, legs wrapped around his waist. 

I slid my hands up his shirt, gliding my hands along his torso, I leaned into him and kissed his lips gently and tugged on his lip, I smirked when he let out a muffled moan. I took this as my cue, I started carefully grinding my hips against his, my hands moving farther up his body. I grinded our hips a bit rougher, Michael moaning out my name. I could feel his hard-on against me. I smirked and got up and left to go to the kitchen, I opened the fridge and got out an apple and sat on a wooden stool at the table and went onto my phone. 

Michael walked in pouting with his arms crossed. He plopped down in the seat in front of my trying to not make eye contact, I let out a low chuckle at how he was acting.

"Awwwe. Does poor Mikey have a problem that Luke caused?" I said trying to sound sympathetic. 

"I have a big problem that you caused, and that you'll be dealing with." He huffed putting his head down. I got up and wrapped my arms around his hips and pulled him up. He stood there, arms still crossed and looking down. That is before I got on my knees, and started unbuttoning his pants.

"I-I u-uh L-Luke I was j-joking" he started out nervously. 

"Well I'm not joking." I said looking up at him smiling. I drug him up to my room, throwing him onto my bed and got on top of him. I grabbed the bottom of his short and lifted it up and over his head, leaving chaste kissing down his chest and stomach. I stopped at the hem of his boxers and looked up at Michael for approval, he just nodded his head and gripped the sheets. I tugged his boxers down.

Michael's p.o.v

Once again I woke up beside Luke, but something I was different. I felt pain, and not in any normal place. I felt pain in my bu- WAIT DID LUKE AND I HAVE SEX LAST NIGHT!? I didn't ever intend on that, why would I do that? I shouldn't assume either though.. I could've fell on my ass right? It's not likely but, I just hope it's that.


	6. Poems

Michael's p.o.v

Later that night I was sitting alone in my room, Luke has already left saying his mom wanted him home or something like that. I've been sitting on my bed for nearly two hours, staring at the blank page of my note book that laid in my lap. It was open to a blank page. I was stuck on what to write, debating between a poem or a song. Either way, it's going to be dedicated to Luke. 

An idea popped into my head and I quickly wrote in down on the top of the page and the words just kept flowing. Everything matched up to Luke, the mention of the Blue eyes like an ocean, it all did. I read it over and samiled.

" Their touch and their feel..

Finger tips.. Inch to inch

Things always seemed to be more lovely then.

You know, there was a time I'd hold your hand like I'd never let go?

I'm still sad that I did sometimes.

I remember when I saw you walking towards me for the first time.

People always talk about butterflies, but..

I swear I could have flew away and carried the both of us.

Your pale blue eyes to match the ocean, and wave that pulled me to you.

We were both lost at sea when we found each other.

We're still lost, but that's okay.

There's no where else I'd rather be with you.

Mapping out a world of our own,

However we want it to be.

In a feild of sunflowers.

Or maybe a coloring book world, messy and outside the lines.

Where the stars dangle by strings.

Or maybe in paradise under a setting sun.

Wherever.

Wherever you areis paradise to me.

Nothing in this world makes more sense to me, than our nonsense.

So grab my hand, and take me anywhere, my love.

The worlds is ours for the taking."

I heard a knock at my bedroom door and I got up, closing my note book setting it down on my bed.

I walked over to my door, slowly opening, only to reveal a crying bruised up Luke.

"L-Luke, what happened?!?" I asked him worry sketching over my face.

"M-my d-dad h-he he's back" He stutterd, complete fear covering his face as he started to shake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was eating Lucky Charms while writing this, and my mom walked in on me and it scared me a lot, and I spilled milk all over my pone because I wrote it on Wattpad, now my phone is messed up.


	7. He's back..

Luke's p.o.v

"Luke what do you mean 'my dad.. he's back.'?" Michael asked in a worried expression, I don't know why but I snapped.

"I don't fucking know, Michael! Maybe the man who abused me for 12 years of my life, would sexually abuse me whenever he could. He was always drunk, I lost him to alcoholism. I had a fucking broken family alright? Yeah, broken families are said not to be the worse, but for me it was. He killed her, Michael. Nobody knows that, he told the cop's she killed herself and they believed him. Everyday it was a constant battle with my thoughts, thoughts between taking my last breath or sticking through it. I couldn't save myself, I hated myself so much. That's another reason why I act like I do." I finish sighing.

"M-Michael, can I sing you a song I would always sing when my dad would abuses me." I asked. I looked up at him and he just simply nodded. I gave him a small smile and walked over to my guitar grabbing it and throwing the strap over my head, strumming it quickly to make sure it was in tune.

I took a deep breath and begun strumming the chords.

(Play the song now)

I can't help the way my mind is hardwired to hate myself

'Cause I swear that this is hell

The way I desperately try to save myself

'Cause I can't save myself

A single breath (in empty lungs)

That's all I got left (gasping for air)

And a bad idea branded in my brain I can't seem to shake (I can't seem to shake)

Another day (in tired skin)

I shed and fray (far from desire)

'Til all I am is textbook misery and my own mistakes (my own mistakes)

And as I've aged the only thing I think has changed

Is that the demons have moved from under my bed

Into the inner depths of my head

I can't escape the ugly things my mind creates

I speculate that they'll stay with my 'til the grave

I can't help the way my mind is hardwired to hate myself

'Cause I swear that this is hell

The way I desperately try to save myself

'Cause I can't save myself

Can't save myself

In broken bones (a half-hearted smile)

I feel at home (I'm proud of nothing)

I tend to get attached so quick to all I've ever known (all I've ever known)

But I don't seem to know a single fucking thing that can save me

I'm my own worst enemy

Is there any hope for me?

I can't help the way my mind is hardwired to hate myself

'Cause I swear that this is hell

The way I desperately try to save myself

'Cause I can't save myself

I'm the boy who chose not to grow up and now I'm unprepared for anything

Now I'm scared and I'm cold and alone because the world grew up without me

I'm the boy who chose not to grow up and now I'm unprepared for anything

Now I'm scared and I'm cold and alone because the world grew up without me

I'm the boy who chose not to grow up and now I'm unprepared for anything

(Is there any hope for me?)

Now I'm scared and I'm cold and alone because the world grew up without me

(Is there any hope for me?)

I can't help the way my mind is hardwired to hate myself

(Is there any hope for me?)

'Cause I swear that this is hell

The way I desperately try to save myself

'Cause I can't save myself.

I finished, tears streaming down my face. I took my guitar off my neck and threw it on my bed running into the bathroom locking the door, sliding down in putting my face in my knee's and sobbing. I heard a knock on the door and a quick whisper.

"Michael, how can I save you, when I can't save myself?"

"A weak person, doesn't deserve someone as amazing as yourself." sobs racked my body and I fell on my side.

"I-I can't do this anymore, Mikey. I-I-I'm s-sorry."

"LUKE! NO!" Michael screamed.

I heard a door smash open and a gun shot. That was that last thing I heard before I was being carried out of the bathroom. The pills slowly taking me away from this life.


	8. Home?

Luke's p.o.v

I was still conscious when I was being carried out by someone. I stirred in their arm and slowly opened my eyes revealing who it was. Ashton. 

"A-Ashton, wh-where's M-Michael?" I stuttered thrashing in his arms when the realization that Michael isn't there came to me. 

"Luke, your dad.... he shot Michael. He is in the hospital now. We can go there now seeing that you aren't injured...?" He said putting me down carefully making sure my feet were on the ground before letting me go completely. I just simply nodded and he walked out the door heading to his car. I sighed pulling on some shoes and running out the door to Ashton's car.

"It's about a 20 minute drive from here so if you'd like you can put some music on and take a short nap just to get your mind off things in the mean time" He smiled and started his car up. I turned out the radio and plugged my phone in, tuning it to the 'AUX' so the music from my phone will play through the car speakers. 

I put my head against the window and shut my eyes, hoping sleep would take me over, with in a few minutes I was out. 

15 minutes later I was awakened by Ashton shaking me gently. 

"Mikey, we are here." He said softly, a small smile on his face. I nodded and slowly unbuckled my seat belt getting out of the car shutting the door. I walked through the glass doors of the hospital, Ashton trailing a few feet behind me. I walked towards the receptionist, she looked up at me and smiled softly.

"Uh, hi. I'm here for Michael Clifford." I said, my voice low that she could almost barley here me.

"Ah, yes. He's on room 11A" She said and went back to whatever she was doing before I came. I walked down the long hall looking for room 11A, when I approached it I carefully opened the door not ready to see what could be behind it.

I walked in and there laid Michael, smiling down at his phone.

"Michael. Oh my god. You're alive, you're okay. Holy shit, you don't know how happy this makes me!" I ran towards him, and placed a soft kiss on his lips. He smiled and cupped my cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. I leaned my forehead against his and stared at him. It sounds creepy, but this boy is so beautiful. I don't know how I got so lucky to call him mine, especially after all I put him through. I love this boy more than anyone could ever know, words are hard when explaining my feelings for him, I just can't seem to put it into words at all. 

"Michael, I love you so much. I can't even justify how much you mean to me. You're beautiful, amazing, perfect and everything in between. I'm so fortunate to call you my boyfriend. No matter what you do you always can put a smile on anyone's face. You're so outstanding, do not let anyone tell you other wise. I love you, Michael Clifford." He was crying when I finished the short speech. I smiled down at him and whipped away the tears. "So beautiful." I whispered, kissing his cheek.

"Thank you for everything, Luke. Honestly it means so much to me and I don't know where I would be without you in my life. I know we went through our rough times, but that is in the past. I can't begin to even contemplate how much I love you, how much you mean to me. If I ever lost you I don't know what I would do with myself. Luke Hemmings, you are the reason behind my smile. Because of you, I have a reason to live. I no longer find stupid excuses to self-harm, because you will be right there beside me making everything better. You make me happier than I have ever been. You make me happier as each day goes by. I know most people wouldn't forgive you for the things you have done, but I did. I will never regret that. Why? Because I got the most amazing, and loving boyfriend out of it. I know we will both make mistakes throughout our relationship, I understand that and I hope you do too. But that won't change how much I love you and how much you love me. Because mistakes were made to happen, couples were made to fight every so often it's just a normal human thing to do. I guess what I am saying is, Luke, I'm never going to leave you, even with death takes over us, I will still love you from up above. I love you, Luke Hemmings, so fucking much" He finished and now it was my turn to cry. He is the sweetest ever, and honestly I don't deserve him, but I'll never let this boy go. He is mine and no one is going to take that away from me. 

"Michael, you're so amazing, okay?" He smiled softly and nodded. "So are you, Luke." I sighed and smiled back at him. I leaned back and grabbed a chair sliding it beside his bed, grabbing his hand, he turned his head to look at me and smile once again. God his smile is beautiful.

"When do you get out of here, Mikey?" I asked staring at him.

"Uhm, I'm not too sure. Ask Ashton to ask someone. He's sort of been awkwardly standing there this whole time." I looked at him confused until he pointed behind me, and there leaning against the wall was Ashton.

"Oh hey, Ashton! Hah... I didn't notice you there..." I said to him and he just rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, because you were too busy being lovey dovey with your fucking boyfriend. I tripped over a god damn train on my way here and you were too engrossed by kissing him" He said laughing.

"But yeah, I'll go check when he gets out. I'll be back." He said and walked out.

"Why didn't you tell me Ashton was in here?"

"I didn't want to ruin the moment?" He said, although it came out as more of a question then an answer.

Ashton walks back in, a huge smile across his face, his deep dimples promptly showing.

"He's allowed out today!"


End file.
